


Late

by Laratjuhh



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-15 03:26:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4591197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laratjuhh/pseuds/Laratjuhh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam has recently discovered he would very much like to kiss his best friend and bandmate, Zayn Malik. He doesn't do too well when he thinks Zayn finds out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Late

**Author's Note:**

> Basically this is self-indulgent. Hope you enjoy Xx

Rehearsals were agony today. Liam couldn't stop looking at Zayn. He had been staring at him since they started and every time he looked away there was something that drew his attention right back within a minute. Zayn would hit a note flawlessly or get a correction or whisper something to Louis next to him or breathe within Liam's line of vision and Liam would be distracted again. He had been called out several times already for not paying attention and they were barely two hours in. 

It bothered him. It bothered him that he was so distracted, that he couldn't remember his lines or in some cases even the right notes. It bothered him that he was being very unprofessional, when he usually wanted to be perfect and on top of everything. It bothered him even more that Zayn wasn't looking back at him. 

Liam couldn't help himself though. His eyes wandered back to Zayn constantly, to the shape of his cheekbones, the scrunch of his nose, his defined jawline, his gorgeous hair, the way he held himself so confidently. He wished he could see the freckle in Zayn's left eye, but that would be pushing it. Liam would have to get a lot closer to see that one.

While Harry was getting a correction, Louis whispered something to Zayn, causing the both of them to giggle softly. Liam was beyond frustrated. He wanted to laugh with them, he wanted to be the one to make Zayn giggle like that. 

Louis then noticed that Liam was looking over at them. Raising one eyebrow, he tapped Zayn's back and whispered something in his ear again, still holding Liam's gaze. What was Louis saying to him?

Then Zayn looked up, right at Liam, and Liam didn't know what to do, besides look away quickly. That was the first time today that Zayn had looked at him (Zayn had been late to rehearsal and hadn't had time to greet anyone properly), and of course he had to get caught staring. 

_'I fucked up,'_ Liam thought. _'He catches me looking and I look away as if I'm ashamed. I wouldn't be ashamed if I didn't have these feelings for him.'_

Then again, Zayn had looked merely curious. Tentatively, Liam looked up again, at Zayn. Zayn was still looking back at him, smiling a little. Liam tried to smile back, but it felt forced and weird, as if he couldn't remember how to naturally smile at his best friend. 

_'Great. Now I've made it awkward. And what if he figures out what I'm feeling from these strange interactions?'_

Liam looked to the ground again, and only then did he notice that Louis and Niall were practising a harmony. Just how long had he been staring at Zayn with a grimace on his face? What was Zayn thinking?

“Liam, you missed your cue,” Harry pointed out.

Liam blushed a deep red and shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Stupid infatuation. He was a mess today. He couldn't let this newly found attraction affect his singing.

Because that's what it was. Just a few days ago, he'd been playing football with Zayn, and when Liam had fallen over, Zayn had rushed to his side to see if he was okay. When nothing was wrong, Zayn had rolled on top of him, grinning, to tickle him, causing Liam to blush and squirm. He wasn't very ticklish, but Zayn's proximity, the rush of endorphins at Zayn's touch and the sudden urge to kiss him had made it a very uncomfortable experience for Liam. He'd pushed Zayn off and continued as normal, but later that evening, when he was alone in his bed, ready to go to sleep, he thought back on the incident. Zayn's lips had been so near and so plump and kissable and Liam hadn't been able to think about anything else anymore. He wanted to kiss his best friend. Badly. 

After that, whenever Zayn touched him or spoke to him, or even just looked into his eyes, Liam felt the same flip of his stomach, mostly causing him to smile at Zayn dorkily. Liam accepted his feelings easily, but he worried about what Zayn might think, should he find out. They had a very hands-on friendship, and Liam had a hard time figuring out where the line was between friends and lovers. What was acceptable? What wasn't? He'd never thought about it and now that he did, it all seemed so complicated. 

And now he'd reached a point where he embarrassed himself simply by looking at Zayn. Liam kept his eyes averted for the rest of the morning session, which ended half an hour later. When Louis walked past him, he whispered: “Maybe stop staring.”

Liam wanted to ask him if it was that obvious and whether or not Zayn had noticed, but Louis was already having an intense 'conversation' with Harry so Liam was lost for a moment. Then Zayn coughed and walked up to him. 

“You okay babe?” Zayn asked.

Liam blushed at the nickname. Not daring to meet Zayn's eyes, he mumbled “Yeah,” at the ground.

“No, you're not. Wanna talk?”

“Not really.”

“I can tickle it out of you,” Zayn said with a mischievous glint in his eyes, that Liam didn't miss because he looked up for just a second. It made him smile before he looked away again.

“Come on babe tell me what's going on,” Zayn said, and he started tickling Liam.

Liam started laughing involuntarily. “No, Zayn, Zayn… Zayn!! Don't.” 

Shocked by Liam's suddenly serious tone, Zayn stopped tickling him. He looked properly worried. Liam looked at him, at a loss for words, and then he turned and walked away, leaving Zayn behind.

His thoughts raced a mile a minute. 

_'How can I be friends with someone I want to kiss and hold close and never let go of? How can I pretend I don't want more from him? Should I tell him? How will he react? Will there even be a friendship left? He's most certainly not homophobic… but how will he handle his best friend crushing on him? Will he want to run? He's run from girls declaring their love before… Fuck. Or what if… What if he rejects me and dates someone else? That would be horrific...'_

Liam didn't even know where he was going, but it wasn't raining and he didn't really care beyond that. He just needed to be away from Zayn for a moment. Away from his feelings for Zayn. He silently started crying. Just a single tear from either eye, but it was enough for Liam to recognise that he cared much more than he initially thought. 

His phone beeped. Liam pulled it out and read the incoming text. 

Zayn: **Did I hurt u? Sorry if I did I didn't mean to! Plz come back miss u xx**

While he contemplated what to write back, another text came in, this one from Louis.

Louis: **You know you owe him an explanation now, right? You hurt his feelings now come back and kiss and make up!!**

Liam decided to text Louis back first.

To Louis: **I'm so sorry I just got overwhelmed and a little scared I didn't mean to hurt him I swear!! Please don't tell him what's going on x**

Louis: **So what's going on. Zayn doesn't know why you've been so distant for like a week and I must say you've been pretty weird.**

To Louis: **I've a huge fucking crush on him!! I don't know how to act anymore**

To Louis: **DON'T TELL HIM THAT!!**

Louis: **So don't act. Let it go. Oops too late he saw :)**

To Louis: **LOUIS!!!!!**

Louis: **:) love you x**

Liam sighed. What could he do? Maybe Zayn saw, maybe he didn't. Louis was a menace and loved to rile Liam up. That reminded him that he still had to reply to Zayn's text.

To Zayn: **No you didn't hurt me and I didn't mean to hurt you either. I'll come back in a bit.**

Liam contemplated adding some kisses, then decided on a single x before hitting send. What was he going to do now? If Zayn knew, then he had to come clean. If he didn't know then phew. Either way Louis was getting his arse kicked later.

When he returned to the studio ten minutes later, Liam didn't dare look up, afraid that now everyone knew about his feelings for Zayn. The nerves were getting to him and he was on the verge of breaking into hysterical laughter because he didn't know what to do with himself. He jumped when someone touched his arm. Zayn. Liam looked into his eyes, feeling very insecure, but Zayn just hugged him, eyes a brooding warmth as always. The fact that Zayn was touching him, pulling him into a full-bodied hug, did things to Liam. He felt accepted and so warm. Zayn was warm. He pressed a soft kiss to Zayn's shoulder before he even realised what he was doing.

“I don't know what's wrong, but don't run from me. Talk to me. Thought I was your best friend,” Zayn said in Liam's ear softly.

A wave of relief washed over Liam. Zayn didn't know, thank God.

“You are. I'm sorry.”

There it was again, the urge to kiss Zayn. Liam was so lost in his feelings that he forgot to let go when Zayn stopped hugging him, causing Zayn to poke his sides.

“Uhm, Leeyum? I love hugging you but this is a bit of an uncomfortable position for me right now...”

“Oh, I'm sorry!” Liam exclaimed and he finally remembered how to let go of Zayn. 

His heart fluttered as Zayn grabbed his hand and pulled him to a corner of the studio to sit on the couch there, a bit more private. Louis tried not to show how he was watching them like a hawk, but at least he kept Harry and Niall busy. Liam sat down tentatively, but Zayn flopped down next to him and put his legs over Liam's. Liam reached out hesitantly with one hand, to put it on Zayn's outer knee. He put the other on the couch. 

“Are you mad cuz I was late?” Zayn asked.

“No. I'm not mad. Just… frustrated. Can't stop myself from getting distracted. Has nothing to do with you or any of the others.”

Zayn gave him a long, assessing look. “You sure about that?”

“Yes. Why?”

“Cuz Louis said, like...”

“What'd he say?”

“He said you were staring earlier and that he'd caught you for the fourth time. Is there… Are you… like… attracted to him?”

“Oh! No! I just tend to stare into space I guess when I get distracted?”

“It's okay though, I understand. Louis and I snogged a few times. I get the appeal.”

“You… you snogged? How many is a few times?”

Liam was slightly worried. Not only had Louis been crazy about Harry since practically the moment they met, but Liam wasn't anything like Louis. If that was what Zayn liked… then Liam wouldn't stand a chance.

“I'm just playing with ya!” Zayn frowned and Liam ducked his head. That was the third time he'd embarrassed himself now. Zayn sat up and came closer, until their faces were mere centimetres away. 

“I've never kissed Louis. I've wanted to, once or twice. Nothing more. Not jealous of Harry either. No feelings for Louis.” 

Liam's heart beat fast in his chest. This was a perfect opportunity to ask what he really wanted to know, but he needed a few moments to gather the courage. Zayn rested his head against the cushions of the couch as Liam looked at him, collecting himself.

“Are you… Is there anyone you do have feelings for?”

Liam sounded weak and vulnerable even to his own ears. He felt like everything he was feeling was written all over his face and Zayn was either going to shut him down completely or grin at him and accept it.

“Well… yeah...” Zayn drawled, almost reluctantly. He refused to meet Liam's eyes.

Liam swallowed hard around the bile rising up in his throat. “Do you want to tell me?”

Zayn shook his head softly. It suddenly dawned on Liam that Zayn could very well know about his feelings, but not want to hurt him. That would explain Zayn not wanting to talk about his own crush. He didn't want to hurt Liam. 

While it was reassuring, in a way, that Zayn wouldn't run from him, Liam only wanted to reach out more. Zayn looked beyond uncomfortable and Liam wanted to kiss it all away until he felt good again. The sight of his poor Zaynie, all hunched in on himself, shielding himself from Liam almost, made Liam forget about how his actions would be received and he pulled Zayn into a hug.

“C'mere. You can tell me if you want to talk about it, you know. Don't worry about me.”

Zayn clung to him like a lifeline.

After a few long moments, Zayn mumbled: “It's someone I can't have, Li. I want him so badly and I can't have him.”

“Why not, Zaynie? Who could possibly resist you?”

Zayn buried his face into Liam's neck. Liam was okay with not looking at him if it meant Zayn would talk to him. It was a bit heartbreaking to hear Zayn admit to having feelings for someone else, but it was equally heartbreaking to see him unable to talk about it. Liam would have to suck it up and be the best friend he could be.

“Even if he did like me back… and I don't think he does… it would fuck up this band. I can't do it Leeyum, I can't tell him. I can't have him.”

Not comprehending what Zayn was saying, Liam tilted up Zayn's chin, forcing him to look at him.

“What do you mean? Why would it fuck up this band? We have Harry and Louis being disgustingly in love with each other… how would you getting a boyfriend be any different? And we all love you, we're there for you always.”

Liam's eyes went wide when he realised that Zayn's eyes were trained on his lips, practically staring. Maybe he was spacing out. “Zayn…?”

“Leeyum. Don't you get it? It would never be the same again.”

Liam did not fully understand what Zayn was saying, but then again he was more interested in possibly kissing those soft, full lips and caressing those amazing cheekbones. God, he was beautiful.

Suddenly Zayn planted a hand in the back of Liam's neck, and Liam shivered. His heart started racing and his breathing became uneven as Zayn leaned in to whisper in his ear.

“I'm afraid that if I tell him how I feel, he won't want to hang out with me anymore. Won't want to be my friend anymore.”

Liam didn't know how to feel. Why did Zayn feel the need to whisper that? Was he simply trying to say that he knew that that was exactly the way Liam felt? Before Liam could respond, though, they were called for the next part of their rehearsal.

For lack of a better response, he hugged Zayn as tightly as he could for a moment, in hopes of reassuring him that he needn't worry. Then he urged Zayn to get up.

“C'mon. We'll talk after. Promise.”

Niall looked at them curiously in passing, and Liam sighed internally. They'd been quite intimate on that couch, and Niall loved to know everything that was going on. Liam flashed him a nervous and half-hearted smile before getting back into position.

-

They didn't talk after. Liam had gotten so worked up during rehearsal, that he fled the scene as soon as he could. Zayn had ignored him for the most part, just like that morning. Every time Louis whispered to Zayn, Liam was afraid he'd tell him about his crush. He did NOT want Zayn to know. It took him about ten minutes to start mistrusting Louis, because that's when Louis would start cocking his eyebrow whenever he caught him looking. Zayn would probably pick up on that and start asking questions. 

The few times that Zayn did look at him, he looked nervous and averted his eyes quickly, and Liam could only assume the reason. Zayn suspected Liam's feelings and didn't know what to do about it.

So as soon as rehearsal was done, Liam packed his stuff and went home. Alone. He hadn't said goodbye to any of them, and all he wanted was to curl up in his bed and cry over Zayn, so that's what he did. He cried a long time, wondering how he could have fallen for his best friend and why it couldn't have been someone who would want him in the same way. 

He wondered if he could even trust Zayn to be fair to him if he found out. Whenever someone told Zayn they were attracted to him – something that happened a lot – Zayn would excuse himself and disappear as soon and as thoroughly as possible. Liam didn't know if it was because Zayn didn't know what to do with that information or if he was uncomfortable with someone developing feelings for him, but he was terribly afraid of facing the same treatment.

And Liam didn't want to lose his best friend. No matter what he felt for him, he didn't want to lose the amazing bond they had built up long before Liam even discovered his deeper feelings. 

Liam cried for an hour, maybe two, before deciding that he should get over it. Really, the only option he had was to try to forget about his feelings for Zayn and never tell him. Looking for something to distract him, he reached for his phone.

Bad idea. He had several missed calls from Zayn, a few from Louis, one from Harry and Niall each. One angry text.

Louis: **You better have a really good explanation Payno bc I'm coming to kick your arse if you don't respond to Zayn BEFORE 8!!**

Liam truly didn't understand why Louis was so mad at him. He had nothing to do with this, it was between Liam and Zayn. Louis should stay the fuck out of it. If Zayn was upset, he was perfectly fit to tell Liam so himself. 

To Louis: **This doesn't even concern you. Calm the fuck down, you prick.**

He sent it before thinking, and he immediately felt bad about calling him names, but he was still too angry to apologise.

Louis: **RESPOND TO ZAYN, I said!!! And it does concern me when my best friend is in tears, arsehole!**

To Louis: **Zayn? Why?**

Louis: **Yes, Zayn, you absolute fuckin twat! Can you read? TALK TO HIM ffs I swear you're like a child**

Louis: **Call him NOW**

Liam didn't know what to do. He should probably text Zayn, or call him even, but he had no idea what he would say. He was too embarrassed to consider how Zayn was feeling, why he had apparently been crying. He decided calling was probably the safer option, because he would be able to hear how mad Zayn was.

“Liam.” 

Zayn's voice was flat, void of emotion. Nothing like the usual drawl of vowels. That couldn't be good. Liam almost hung up, but then realised that would only make things more complicated.

“Zayn, hi. I'm sorry that I upset you.”

“Are you?”

“Yeah. I am.”

“Do you even know what you're apologising for, then?”

“For walking away when I promised you that we'd talk. I didn't know it was that important to you.”

“Why did you? You just up and left. Said goodbye to no one. You could have just told me that you'd changed your mind and didn't want to talk about it, you know. Instead you avoid me like the plague. It's not that dangerous, you know. I won't… like…” Zayn sighed.

“What isn't?” Liam was utterly confused, now.

“Me being in love with you. But don't worry, I'll stay out of your way, if you hate it that much.” The line clicked.

Liam stood there, staring at his phone, completely dumbfounded for at least five minutes, while the thoughts raced through his mind and the endorphins through his body. Eventually, he came to one clear conclusion.

Zayn had just confessed to being in love with him. 

And Liam had given him the impression that he wanted to avoid him because of that.

Shit.

Liam didn't know what to do. He didn't know where Zayn was if he was to go looking for him, and he didn't know if he would pick up the phone, since he'd hung up so abruptly. So Liam composed a text.

To Zayn: **I honestly didn't know. I'm sorry for running out on you. Please talk to me. Xx**

He didn't get an answer. He barely resisted telling Zayn about his own feelings over text. He wanted to do that in person, but it made him extremely nervous. He didn't know what to make of this silence. Was Zayn still afraid Liam was avoiding him?

Louis had been right. He had been a right twat. He had been overly concerned with his own stupid thoughts and that's how he had hurt Zayn. He should have paid more attention to the object of his affections. Liam hoped things would turn out okay regardless.

The next morning, Liam reluctantly met the boys' eyes when arriving at rehearsal. Louis was glaring at him, and Harry and Niall looked less than pleased as well, but Liam sighed and greeted them anyway.

“I'm sorry. For upsetting you, for upsetting Zayn, and for calling you names, Louis. You were right and I'm sorry.”

Niall started grinning. “You're the exact same as these two dickheads. Get your shit together, please, because I don't want to go through that again.”

“Oi, we weren't fighting each other!” Louis exclaimed.

“We were never this bad! We only teamed up on you guys,” Harry said indignantly.

Zayn came in, and Liam left them to bicker amongst themselves. Liam saw unshed tears in Zayn's eyes, so the only thing he could think of was hug him, and that's what he did. He held him tightly, and Zayn tentatively hugged him back.

“You're not afraid of me?” Zayn asked after hesitating for a few moments.

“Oh babe. I'm so sorry, I didn't know,” he whispered into Zayn's ear. “I would never have avoided you like that if I'd known. Don't you worry. I won't reject you, I have a huge crush on you, Zaynie. I was afraid Louis had told you and that's why I ran off like I did. Went home to cry, like a fucking pre-teen.”

Zayn softly pushed him off. “You… you like me back?” he asked nervously, barely meeting Liam's eyes.

“I do. I'm sorry for hurting you.”

Suddenly, Zayn's lips were on his. It was very brief and only a brush of skin, but it was enough for Liam to break out in an enormous smile. Chasing the soft press of Zayn's lips, he kissed him properly. Zayn welcomed it.

“Thank God, you fuckers,” Niall exclaimed.

Flipping Niall the bird, Liam kissed Zayn some more.

Zayn looked at Liam a lot during rehearsal, this time. Nervous, shy glances that Liam could not answer fast enough, as Zayn would look away before he had a chance. He whispered with Louis a lot again, and it seemed to relax him. In fact, they whispered so much, that Harry had to nudge Louis a few times to make them pay attention.

Liam's heart would not stop beating quickly and loudly, and he couldn't keep his eyes off of Zayn. He was constantly thinking about what might happen tonight when they were going to talk about this properly. And they absolutely would, there was no way Liam would run out again. There was nothing left to be scared of.

When that realisation finally sank in, Liam couldn't get the smile off of his face anymore. Every time Zayn looked at him after that, only made him smile harder, and it made Zayn smile too. And every time one of their bandmates rolled their eyes at them, it filled Liam with warmth. 

He could have the boy he wanted. He could have Zayn. And the way things looked, he would have him. Life was good.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you like it?  
> Please comment below. Xx


End file.
